


I Had Forgotten

by antediluvianevil



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-14
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-08 07:15:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6844537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antediluvianevil/pseuds/antediluvianevil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She says 'I love you' for the first time.  He wants to cry.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Had Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> I always imagined being alone for a few thousand years is trying on a person's emotional state.

He was reading at his desk when he felt soft, fleeting kisses press against his head and gentle arms wrap around his neck. Rarely did Lavellan announce her presence with a 'hello.' She always came to him with soft kisses, and she would smile at him until he smiled in kind. Often she would come when he was drifting in and out of the Fade, or when he was in the middle of important studies, but he never complained. He couldn't. She came to him with so much love and kindness in her heart, and he could never turn her love away.

“Solas,” she whispered as she smiled.

“Atisha,” he replied and returned the smile, “ma vhenan.”

He brought his hand up to her scarred cheek and his heart fluttered when she relaxed against his hand. He traced her vallaslin with his thumb. He found a sad irony in them. Such a kind woman wearing the marks of Elgar'nan, the cruelest of the Evanuris. He wanted to remove them greatly, and he knew she would allow him if she knew what they truly meant, but--

“You're brooding.” She stated.

“Apologies.” He kissed her other cheek.

“Want to talk about it?”

“I was simply thinking.” She looked unsatisfied with his answer, so he changed the topic. “Are you not attending the archery contest? Is it not being held this evening?”

She pouted at that. “I was banned from contesting, along with Varric.”

He couldn't conceal his large grin. “Oh? That is unfortunate.”

“... You say it's unfortunate, but you're grinning like an idiot.”

“My apologies again, Vhenan. I am simply... impressed by your proficiency with a bow.” He was grinning ear to ear.

“Sweet-talker.”

She wrapped her arms around his head and pulled him into a kiss. It was a gentle and chaste thing, but the gesture still made him feel so _loved_. He wanted to pull her closer, and found the distance the chair armrest caused to be insufferable. He stood up, shoving the chair back and immediately pulling her flush against him. She smiled and opened her lips, letting him deepen the kiss the way she knew he always wanted to.

He broke the kiss to stare at her. Their height differences made kissing somewhat awkward; she was over a foot shorter than he. Oh, but he had never seen a more beautiful soul, and damn him if he was going to let a sore neck keep him from feeling her lips. He pulled her up to another kiss and walked her over to the couch, where he turned and fell on the cushions with her in his lap. She fell with a gasp which he swallowed greedily. She looked up to him with flushed cheeks and lips; he wished they could stay like that forever. He ran his fingers through her short crimson hair and kissed her forehead, and she sighed.

“I...” she started and looked at him and he smiled. She then spoke, so quiet it could hardly count as a whisper. “I love you.”

One month before that day, they had started their... ill-considered relationship. He said those words to her in Elvish, and fled before she could reply. And after, he said them to her almost every day.

That was the first time she returned the words.

And all he could do was choke out a single word. “Vhenan.” He had forgotten what it felt like to hear those words. He kissed her. “My love.” Devoured her. “Vhenan.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her to him. “ _My heart_.”

She broke the kiss with a quiet moan and she stared at him, cheeks and ears flushed, eyes wide. And then they widened in worry as she placed her hands on his cheeks. “Solas?”

He was crying, and he wasn't quite sure why.

“I-I apologize, it has been--”

Before he could finish speaking, she pulled him forward into a kiss. He relaxed into the kiss as she brought her hand to his ears and gently rubbed the tips. “A long time?” she murmured before she kissed his nose.

He responded with a smile and kissed her nose, mimicking her. “Yes.” His smile grew as she rubbed his tears away and kissed him again. “...I had forgotten what it felt like.”

She stared at him for a long while before giving him a fleeting kiss. “And I will never let you forget again. I promise,” she stated and gave him a beaming smile. "I love you, Solas."

He had to hold back more tears. He didn't deserve her. Her love. Her kindness. But he was far too selfish to turn her away. Too foolish. He pressed a soft kiss against her lips and tightened his arms around her.

He was a selfish, deceitful, lovesick fool.

“Ar lath ma,” he said.

He rested his head on her shoulder and felt the tears stream down his cheeks.

_I had forgotten how much it hurt._ _Love._

 

 


End file.
